PDA

One of the most annoying forms of social contact is PDA.  When I’m out at a restaurant and I see a couple start making out and eating each other’s faces rather than their food...I feel like throwing up.  Not conducive to enjoying a meal.  When I’m at the super market picking up my necessities, and I walk into the cleaning aisle and BEHOLD there’s a couple groping each other I feel like disinfecting them!  Who knew Lysol and Palmolive could be so erotic--they must be kinky folk.  

PDA, as you all probably know, is short hand for “public displays of affection” that most couples engage in when they are in a healthy, fruitful (if ya know what I mean) relationship.  There’s nothing wrong with PDA.  I believe that hand holding and hugging is cute!  It is normal to want to show affection and in some cases show the world that you are enamored with someone.  It encourages me to go out there and find someone to hold hands with (anyone want to hold my hand, plz?!) because it’s so dang cute, but when you see those couples making out ferociously or grabbing each other’s butts it’s annoying and frustrating! Why you gotta rub that shit in people’s faces?!  Also why you gotta rub your girlfriend’s backside in front of everybody?! How is that cool?! How ISN’T that utterly embarrassing?  Cut it out! It’s so annoying! 

Here are few scenarios of PDA that are just...NO:

1. Making out in public.  There are some couples out there who are not shy when it comes to making out.  They just spontaneously find each other incredibly delicious at the moment and start sucking face.  Like I said before, when I’m out eating I DON’T wanna see that, fools!
2. Stroking.  I’m talking about when a woman strokes her man’s back.  Or a man strokes his woman’s arm.  Or when a woman strokes her man’s hand.  Or when a man strokes his woman’s knee.  Or when they stroke each other’s hair.  Or when I walk up to both man and woman and stroke their faces to show them how annoying it is!   
3. Ass grabbing.  So this happened at a bar once about a year ago.  There was a slightly older couple (maybe in their mid-50s) standing by a table with a large group of friends.  They were both facing away from the rest of the bar, which means that everyone in the vicinity had a clear view of what happened next.  The man reached over and grabbed the woman’s ass.  And he squeezed it.  His hand was there for A RIDICULOUSLY LONG TIME. WHY GOD WHY.  It felt like someone poured acid into my eyes. 

Anyway those public displays of affection are ones that I believe the world can live without.  I personally would probably not be huge into PDA.  Maybe some light hand holding and hugging but definitely no heavy petting.  I guess it depends on the person and the magnitude and seriousness of the relationship.  What do ya'll think a healthy amount of PDA looks like?  Is too much of it just attention seeking?  Any funny stories you'd like to share?! Fire away!

A Brief Reminder

A few months ago my roommate and I were leaving a bar. As we were walking to our car, some random guy on the street approached us. After unsuccessfully ignoring him (my roommate talking to him foiled that attempt), the guy proceeded to follow us to our car, which was creepy enough, but then told us that my roommate had a nice ass and I had a nice face. I kid you not, these were his exact words.

There are so many things wrong with this that I don’t even know where to begin. 

How (HOW!) can a guy think that this is flattering or can possibly give you an in with either girl? You insult one by talking about her ass and not complimenting her face (while her ass is indeed nice, no guy ON THE STREET needs to point it out…it’s like the “smack by” at a bar, when the guy smacks your ass and then disappears into the crowd before you can give him the lashing he deserves), and completely ruin your chances with the other through the insult to her friend and not complimenting her ass.

Now, this might seem like a lose-lose situation for any guy. However, the moral of the story is don’t insult a girl’s friend, through backhanded compliments or any other classless means, and in fact, refrain from talking about a woman’s ass in general...unless you are on intimate terms with it.

Stop That!

I’ve never had a steady boyfriend before and for some reason my mom is JUST NOW concerned about it.  We were chilling in the living room watching tv when she started up her whole interrogation about whether or not I'm seeing anyone. I explained to her that I'm not and that there's no one I'm really interested in at the moment. She said, "Oh, ok" and went back to watching tv.  

A few minutes later she turned to me and said, "Are you gay?" You guys! I didn't know what to say or do, so I just laughed. I laughed for a few seconds while she stared at me. I could see the tears welling up at the corners of her eyes. Before I could tell her that I’m not, she went on this huge spiel declaring she had nothing against it and that she would support me but that my dad would probably disown me (well isn’t that nice!).  She went on to explain how we all live in a very different world now and that people are more open to different types of relationships and that she loves the gay couple on Modern Family because they're so cute and adopted a baby blah blah. Once she was done declaring her love for the gays, I told her that I’m not gay. After a couple seconds of skepticism she proclaimed, "OH THANK YOU GOD! So, now that I know you're not gay, are you seeing someone and not telling me?" Yes, mom. I'm in a secret relationship. It's scandalous, mysterious, and super sexy. That's why I'm sitting at home on a Friday night watching 20/20 with you! C'mon!

I don't think my dad really cares that I'm not seeing anyone. I think he's relieved that he's never had to whip out the whole "sitting on the porch with a shot gun" routine. My mom always gets really excited at the thought of being my little match-maker. She always says that she'll ask around and call her friends and see if anyone knows any nice boys my age who are looking for a girlfriend. No offense, but if a guy asks his mommy to find him a girlfriend...I would most likely not want to date him for fear of being stuck in a relationship with not only him but also his mom. I'm kind of afraid that one of these days my mom is going to set me up on an awkward blind date and feel so annoyingly proud of herself. The day is coming my friends. I can feel it! *Shudder*

The truth is that I don't want to be set up on a date. I want it to happen organically! I want to just be chillin' at a coffee shop or something, and then bump into my prince charming! We'll strike up a conversation, he'll decide I'm cute, and then he'll ask me out! It'll be amazing I tell you! Amazing!! But until that moment comes, I'll have to fend off my mother and pray that every time I walk into the house I'm not greeted by a blind date ambush.

Good Cop Bad Cop: A follow up to Honey, why are you still single?

While parents often team up for the questioning of your singlehood, this is not the only means at their disposal to pry information out of you.

As your parents, they know what makes you tick and how they, individually, best identify with you. It is this factor that puts a whole new spin on the situation. Abandoned is the universal approach, and a more nuanced one takes its place. They build off their own relationship with you and format their questions accordingly.

In my own experience, it turns into a good cop bad cop scenario.

Take my dad’s strategy. He starts out by casually introducing the topic, asking a question such as, “So, any men in your life you want to tell me about?” While this sounds deceptively like good cop, because after all, he doesn’t want to raise my hackles so soon, it is in fact a diversionary tactic. After my quick response of, “No,” which he immediately decides isn’t true, he dispenses with subtly and I’m attacked with a barrage of questions, or in his opinion, “helpful advice.”

“Are you going out enough?” No, I prefer to be antisocial.

“Are you talking to guys?” Come on! That’s an offensive question. You honestly think I sit in a corner, arms folded, praying to be anywhere but there?!

“You need to be more open minded.” Uh huh. Okay, thanks dad.

“Are you even giving them a chance?” Nope. Absolutely not.  

“Are you communicating your interest?” I don’t even know what to say to you.

These questions are supposed to give me something to think about and hopefully lead me to the answer of how to be with men; hence, functioning as helpful advice.

My snarky responses are not well received. I mean, really, how could they be anything but snarky? Of course I’m defensive! You’re asking extremely personal information that I’m not willingly volunteering. “Well, I’m just taking an interest in your life.” Great. Throw the guilt trip on me why don’t you.

It boils down to respecting when I tell you nothing. Your not knowing anything about this is intentional, I assure you.

Now my mother plays the friend card, most blatantly good cop, trying to make herself as less threatening as possible. This tends to gain a more favorable response, as I’m not on my guard and am not having to fend off a multitude of questions.

There are no prescribed questions that she follows. Her technique is all about body language, tone of voice and appearing as unassuming as possible, which often involves a lack of direct eye contact when asking the questions she most wants to know the answers to. However, she finds that if I don't want to talk about it, I'm not. I'm simply nicer in my set down.

Regardless of the technical approach, and whether or not they work as a team or individually, I have found that one thing works to put an end to the topic. I calmly (and I stress calmly) tell them that I am not going to discuss this topic and to please respect my decision.

Often this riles my dad and I’m asked, “Why don’t you want to discuss it?” said in an instigating, and extremely annoying, tone of voice.

All I can say is to remain calm and restate that he/she/they need to respect your desire not to talk about it, and if they proceed to heckle you, remove yourself from the situation.

The topic is at an end because you say it is. You are in control, you decide how much you want to say, you decide if or when you need to remove yourself from their presence. If you can remember this, dealing with those questions becomes a little bit easier.

Juggling

I assume that most women are romantics in the sense that they want a knight in shining armor to ride in and be respectful and sweet and funny and smart and charming and handsome and chiseled and manly and dressed well. I assume that most women ALSO want a man to present them with roses and treat them to dinner in fancy restaurants and pay for the bill and walk them to their doorstep where the most magical, innocent, chemistry-ridden kiss is birthed into existence!

Don't get me wrong, all of that sounds GREAT, but really how often does that happen? Kids these days (look at me, I sound like an old timer...) are looking for that instant satisfaction. They want their lust slated IMMEDIATELY; thus, I feel that women and men are more inclined to cave to the most immature, non-romantic, and often times shameful forms of courtship. For instance, guy sees girl at a party. Girl thinks guy is like so totally hot. Guy thinks, "Hmm I'd like to feel those boobs!" Guy approaches girl. Girl blushes and giggles. Guy unleashes his most "successful" pick-up line. Girl FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON totally gives into the pick-up line and is blown away! Guy gets what he wants. Girl is left in the dust with a pint of ice cream and re-runs of Friends. I'm sure you're wondering, "wait, Priyanka...where are you going with this? Huh? Whaaaaaa?" Well, my friends, something similar has happened to me, but I will stress I did not get left in the dust with a pint of ice cream and re-runs of Friends. Instead I ate an entire pizza and watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy. No shame!

While I was in my junior year in college, a guy that I kind of sort of knew approached me at a party. After a few minutes of chatting about absolutely nothing of consequence, we exchanged numbers. And of course, I was giddy about that. A guy gave me his number! Hello! That's a fairy tale in the making! NOT. Anyway, he texted me later that night with something that, at the moment, seemed so incredibly appealing. He texted me this, "You wanna learn how to juggle?" Yup! Juggle! He asked me if I wanted to learn how to juggle. I didn't see the innuendo in there at all. I was intrigued! I quickly texted him back saying that I was immensely interested in learning how to juggle.  

So, he picked me up, and we went to his place where no form of juggling took place.  We ended up watching “the Office” and making out. What a dreamboat. Needless to say, it was one of the most underwhelming make-out sessions I’ve ever had.  I didn’t even stay at his place; after a few "magical hours" he dropped me back off at my dorm. He didn't walk me to my door or anything. He drove off...leaving me in the dust, in a sense. He never called me back, never acknowledged my presence. I will admit I was upset over it for a couple of days, but quickly snapped out of it and thought about how he was definitely not the type of guy I would want to be my significant other in any way, shape, or form. I think it's safe to say that I will never ever fall for a pick up line involving the act of juggling or of fondling circular objects (volleyballs, soccer balls, crystal balls, marbles, etc.). 

Lesson learned. Cross my heart and hope it never happens again!

Speaking of horrible pick-up lines, Jimmy Fallon has a segment on his late night show called "Late Night Hashtags." In this clip he asked people to tweet him the worst pick-up lines. ENJOY!

Honey, why are you still single?

How do parents broach the topic of their daughter’s singlehood? (Singleness? Singletude?) Some get right to the point and bluntly ask what’s wrong or why don’t you have one, for God’s sake?!

However, if they are like my parents, they have two approaches.

1. Beating around the bush, while still being incredibly obvious about what they’re doing.
2. Beating around the bush, with a bit more subtly (they need to look up the definition of the word).

Now, my parents are afraid to bring up the topic for fear of my reaction (apparently I’m incredibly intimidating…all 5’1” of me). It is a touchy subject, and oftentimes only garners the “Why are you bringing this up when you know I don’t want to talk about it!” look.

However, in my opinion, their hesitation stems mainly from the fact that they have absolutely NO idea how to go about it.

Allow me to demonstrate with approach number 1:

I tend to get a lot of “I don’t understand why you’re single. You’re so pretty and smart and funny. I just don’t get it.”

While this is flattering, and I know you’re saying this because you care and are showing that you are taking an interest in my life, has it never crossed your mind that I have thought the same thing at one point or another and being reminded of my apparent inadequacies is not necessarily a confidence booster?

Or they ask, “Why aren’t the guys lining up outside your door?” to which I typically reply, “Oh, they are. It’s embarrassing really.” Best defense: humor.

Unfortunately, such diversion tactics aren’t as successful as they used to be as my parents have since caught on to my ways.

Smart people that they are, they’ve come to realize that any overt mention of my status tends to garner a sarcastic response, humor ridden response or a blank stare that clearly communicates that the topic is not open for discussion. Therefore, they have put approach number 2 into effect.

“So did you go out last night?” At my nonresponsive grunt, they follow up with, “Did you meet anybody attractive?” (Yes, this is their definition of subtle).

Here’s the thing. Even if I did meet an attractive young man and then we went back and made crazy, passionate love, why would I tell you? I am not about to keep you up to speed on every intimate detail of my love life. I’ll just share the most pertinent details, like if I’m still with the guy.

And honestly, what do they expect? Me to respond with: “Yes, actually, I did. His name is Stan. He’s about 5’11”, brown hair, blue eyes, muscular build. He has a kid, but I find the fact that he’s a baby daddy and can’t pay child support an incredibly attractive quality. So we went back and worked on baby “number two.”

Since this is not an advice column for parents trying to figure out the best way to broach the topic, I will refrain from offering suggestions. Not to mention that it really depends on the single person and their level of sensitivity over being single. However, I will say that refraining from subtly veiled insults (exhibition 1: I don’t get why you’re still single), is probably a good place to start.

Apocalypse NOW!

It has begun.  My mother has officially begun worrying about when I am going to get married.  A couple nights ago, she gave me an extensive lecture about life and marriage while I sat in my rocking chair (THAT’S RIGHT my rocking chair that I won in a raffle! Go me!) reading the first book of “The Walking Dead” comic book series.  Appropriate, I know.  She began her lecture by asking me if I had a boyfriend.  She knows fully well that I do not have one, yet she continues to pester me with this stupid question time and time again.  I assured her that I don’t have any kind of boyfriend unless my secret (fine, imaginary) love affair with Ryan Gosling counts.  

Let me tell you, my mother is worried about me.  She is worried that I won’t get married soon enough.  By “soon enough” she means by like next year.  She thinks that in order to have a steady, happy life I need to be married by the age of 25 and to start popping out kids or else it’ll be too late!  One of my parents’ close friends has a daughter who is in her late 20s and to this day has never been in a steady relationship with someone who she can marry.  My mother always retells her story.  She has become a sort of cautionary tale.  It’s funny because most women these days aren’t even getting married or thinking about marriage until their late 20s! More women are having kids well into their 30s! So it’s not like me and this other girl are some enigma or that there’s something wrong with us.  The times! They are a changin’!  

As a modern-day woman, I am right on track to whatever happy, steady life my mother wants for me.  To be quite honest, the idea of getting married and having kids at my current age freaks me out! I am going to turn 24 in a couple of weeks.  My mother was married before she turned 21.  She had my brother at 23! I cannot imagine being married right now and having a baby.  I mean if I had a baby right now that child would be screwed because I am a hot mess when it comes to prioritizing.  A scenario plays in my head and it goes something like this, “My baby needs new diapers, but there’s a sale on Tory Burch shoes at the mall! I’m gettin’ some shoes today!”  See?! Not a good idea right now!  

Anyway, after going on that rant about my age and the possibility that my seeds will dry up by tomorrow, my mother proceeded to tell me that one of my favorite uncles who lives in D.C. wants to set me up with someone from D.C., so I can move up there.  (Sidenote: I have always wanted to live in D.C. That desire is slowly starting to fade away because there are so many other cool cities! And also I am having the hardest f**king time finding a job in D.C. Anyway, that’s why he wants to set me up with a guy who lives in D.C. Tempting!)  After telling me that my uncle basically wants to be my personal dating service, she asked me what I want in a guy.  Y’ALL. I was at a loss for words! She started spitting out suggestions like “Do you want someone who is a doctor? Or a lawyer? Someone who is artsy? Someone who is into music?  Do you want someone famous? Someone who works in a restaurant?” Seriously?! I thought to myself, “Is she really trying to compile a dating profile for me to give to my uncle?!” I was mortified.  

So, basically my biological clock is ticking and apparently if I don’t get married within the next couple of years I’m doomed.  It kind of makes you think that maybe the world is ending.  Apocalypse is really on its way if my mother is so eager for me to get married and to start popping out babies.  If there is any type of apocalypse, I would personally hope for a zombie Apocalypse because it would just be so suspenseful! I’m sure my blog-partner is rolling her eyes reading this part right now, so I will wrap it up!  There’s a lot of pressure out there on single females in their 20s.  But, listen ladies, there’s honestly no rush! NO PRESSURE! After all, if the goal is a steady, happy life, then take your time and truly figure out what you want!

The Good Old Try

Considering my lack of success in the dating world to date, last fall I decided to give online dating a try. This was my attempt to branch out and be more open minded.

So I got a cup of tea, lit some candles (to set the mood of course), dressed in some comfortable, yet cute, pajamas, and sat on my bed ready to create my profile. The male population wasn’t going to know what hit them!

Okay, actually, that never happened. Online dating for me was not something I was looking forward to doing. To put it mildly, I fought it tooth and nail for months, despite the good natured pestering from my roommate and the assurances that it was fun (uh huh).

Finally caving, my first foray into the online dating world was with a free site, and I immediately knew I was not going to have any success on it, partly because of the quality of men (no offense guys), and partly because I went into it with the wrong attitude. I joined too soon, and suffered more from anxiety than from excitement.

A few months later I decided to give it another go, this time with a paid site. Spending money on a dating site left a bitter taste in my mouth; however, I had to stop making excuses and go full force into this so I could honestly say at the end of my three month trial that I gave it everything.

Yeah, didn’t work out that way. While I genuinely tried the first month or so, I eventually hit a rough patch.

Now, I knew I didn’t want to renew my subscription and I was going to make sure that I cancelled my profile in time so my card didn’t get charged. The end of my subscription was fast approaching, I thought in about a week or so, so I get on the site, go through the process of answering questions as to why I want to leave, blah blah blah, and lo and behold, I had a solid month and a half left on the site. A month and a half!

I disliked it so intensely, and the time seemed to drag on, that I mentally shortened the amount of time I had left. I burst out laughing, because really, it was funny…and then cancelled my subscription.

Now, I know plenty of people who have had success on such sites (a couple of them close friends), and I am very happy for them. However, the reality of literally putting my face out there (and let’s face, pictures never really capture the individual’s charm or grace) and announcing to everyone (or so it felt) that I was alone, did not reassure me, and only served to highlight my insecurities.

But enough about my trepidation with the whole online dating scene and opinions concerning said sites. Let me instead share a few gems that I received during my three months.

Of course I got the run of the mill messages: 

“Hey, saw your profile and think you’re cute. Message me back if you’re interested.” Okay, not the way to my heart, but points for actually messaging me in the first place. It’s not that easy to come up with what to say. 

Then there is, “Hey.” Really? That’s it? I don’t even get an exclamation mark at the end? You’re not even excited to be messaging me? If you couldn’t take the time to write a more personal message, I am not going to take the time to respond.

You also get the messages rife with sexual innuendo, because clearly aggressively coming on to me in a message, having never met me, is a guaranteed way to get a response (and a pretty clear indication that you’re not interested in dating).

One of my favorites was from a guy who came on to me with professor clichés. And here comes the good part. He was…wait for it…a professor! Very creative! However, I can thank him for some good laughs. With promises of what would occur if I came after hours, and he’d grade me on…, etc., I should have written back thanking him for making my decision not to message back easy.

Now, don’t make the mistake of thinking that everyone on those sites is way too brief (probably because they are sending out the same message to multiple women). There are those that put too much into their message. Notice I don’t say too much ‘effort,’ but simply too much.

One day I check my inbox and see that I have maybe 20 messages. In the beginning, when you first join, your inbox tends to fill up pretty quickly. However, I had been on the site for a few weeks, so I was curious as to why I was getting such attention. I immediately check my inbox, and I kid you not, at least 13 of those messages were from one guy. One guy!

Amazed, and not a little bit curious, I clicked on a random message from him and opened right to some very personal information about his family. It was a book…and there were 12 more of them just like it. 

While I am sure the messenger is nice guy, bombarding someone’s inbox with so many intense messages only serves to overwhelm the person, and quite truthfully, kind of freaked me out.

I want to be clear. I am in no way bashing men, or women, on those sites, or the sites themselves. It is a genuine, good way to meet some quality individuals. Simply put, it was not the best dating means for me, and I was unfortunate in that I didn’t meet a lot of quality men. However, I say that the fact you are on a site, and giving romance in a new avenue a chance, is great! You never know if it will work for you until you try.

It's My Displeasure to Meet You

I went to visit my friend in Michigan this past April for a much needed vacation.  On our first night there, we went out to one of her favorite local bars.  The bar was cool but overflowing with the strangest mixture of guys! Young and old...and creepy.  Your typical Thursday night bar scene.  

After we sat down with our drinks and delved into reminiscing about our college days, two guys boldly approached us.  One guy was kind of suave and had curly hair.  Anyway, the suave guy gravitated toward my friend, and the two of them started talking about random stuff.  The other guy was in his early thirties but was dressed like he was still in high school, so I guess I was already kind of judging him.  I normally try not to judge, but in this situation I was RIGHT to judge. 

At first the conversation was normal.  He asked me about where I work, what I was doing in Michigan, and how I knew my friend.  He asked me how often I visit my friend to which I replied, “Well I mean we try to see each other at least twice a year. We’re really close!”  Then he asked me something that made my jaw drop to the floor (and not in a good way).  He said “Oh, so are you a lesbian? Are you and your friend dating?”  YES he said that.  He actually said that.  Maybe it was the beer talking or his stupid baseball cap was squeezing his brain out of his head, but I calmly told him that I’m not a lesbian and that my friend and I were in fact NOT dating.  Why would he just assume that?  And, you guys, this dude would NOT STOP and just go away.  He continued to ask me if I did cocaine because I apparently look like a party girl who likes to do hard core recreational drugs.  

OKAY MEN do NOT ask a girl if she is a lesbian and/or assume that she does drugs like cocaine.  I could not believe what I was hearing.  I turned to my friend and told her I was going to abandon her and get a drink, and then turned to the guy and said “Excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom to do some cocaine.  It was very unpleasant meeting you.”  See you NEVER.

Say YES to Flirting

Most of us are familiar with the concept of Jim Carrey’s movie “Yes Man.” Carrey decides to start saying yes to everything, which is exactly what I propose we all do with flirting. 

Now I am sure at one time or another you’ve run across what I call “serial flirters.” Those women who can strategize as to how to win the desired target (code name for men); have a system that “never fails” to attract male attention; are constantly in the company of men; have outfits that, quite frankly, you’re not gutsy enough to wear; need I go on?

Now, granted, everything in this picture is not perfect. I’m sure there is some psychological analysis behind all this. However, if you are anything like me, you’re saying psychology be damned! Because regardless of the reasons behind their thinking, they appear to be successful with attracting men, and you are still left wondering, “How do they do it?! Why have they got it going on and are getting all this attention when I’m over here, looking cute!, and TRYING to appear like I’m not trying?!”

It’s taken me some time, but I think I’ve finally figured out the answer. It’s because we think too hard. We sit there (at the bar or wherever we happen to be) and overanalyze the situation. Instead of kicking back, enjoying our drinks, scanning the room (and practicing giving “the look”) for eligible bachelors, we are too busy in our heads trying to compute our next move…or hoping that no one notices you, while desperately praying the attractive guy in the blue shirt (that showcases all the right muscles) needs a beer because there just so happens to be an empty seat right next to you.

The anxiety has taken all the fun out of flirting, and that’s really a shame because if you can’t enjoy flirting, the process of dating will be incredibly tedious. And Lord knows you need to find the humor and fun in a situation that can quickly turn depressing.

I have fallen time and time again into the trap of thinking too hard about it, severely limiting my success. As my anxiety would rise, my body language changed. Eye contact dropped to a minimum, if it not completely disappearing.

Tired of giving my nerves the upper hand, I decided to find a way to change my behavior. The first step was being conscious of my body language. I spent a decent amount of time working on this one. I finally stopped folding my arms in front of me, which can make you appear cool (and not in a good way) to those around you.

Then I’d try and smile A LOT. I’m not talking unnecessary, forced, grin and bear it in a creepy way smile, but genuinely laughing, smiling and joking with your friends. This really makes you appear much friendlier and makes you easier to approach.

Bottom line: flirting can be a lot of fun.

Allow me to demonstrate.

About a week ago, my roommate and I were driving back after our girl’s night out. It was probably around 2 o’clock in the morning, the streets were mostly deserted and we were just chatting at a stoplight.

I am, per usual, completely oblivious to the car that pulls up next to us (I used, and will continue to do so, the excuse that I was driving and so it was important to focus on the road…at a stoplight). I digress.

We’re chatting away, when all the sudden my roommate stops because she’s laughing. Apparently one of the two young men in the car that had pulled up next to us had blown us a kiss. Silly behavior, but highly amusing. I immediately turn to face the car and return the favor, blowing a big fat kiss in their direction. They erupt into laughter, as do we.

This prompts a discussion on women being playful with men and that women need to try and overcome their discomfort (or awkwardness) over harmless demonstrations, which in turn led me to contemplate the matter further and write this post.

Let’s face it. The majority of the time we all do stupid things, guys clearly no exception. However, there is no harm in humoring them or yourself. It’s talking, flirting; nothing more.

The point is that most times we tend to get uncomfortable – I am no exception – and ignore the guys, but I’m arguing to have fun with it and be playful. Be aware of how you come across (body language!) and the next time an attractive male approaches, bestow upon him a radiant smile, make intensely sexy eye contact and have fun with it!

So do yourself a favor and say YES to flirting!