Juggling

I assume that most women are romantics in the sense that they want a knight in shining armor to ride in and be respectful and sweet and funny and smart and charming and handsome and chiseled and manly and dressed well. I assume that most women ALSO want a man to present them with roses and treat them to dinner in fancy restaurants and pay for the bill and walk them to their doorstep where the most magical, innocent, chemistry-ridden kiss is birthed into existence!

Don't get me wrong, all of that sounds GREAT, but really how often does that happen? Kids these days (look at me, I sound like an old timer...) are looking for that instant satisfaction. They want their lust slated IMMEDIATELY; thus, I feel that women and men are more inclined to cave to the most immature, non-romantic, and often times shameful forms of courtship. For instance, guy sees girl at a party. Girl thinks guy is like so totally hot. Guy thinks, "Hmm I'd like to feel those boobs!" Guy approaches girl. Girl blushes and giggles. Guy unleashes his most "successful" pick-up line. Girl FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON totally gives into the pick-up line and is blown away! Guy gets what he wants. Girl is left in the dust with a pint of ice cream and re-runs of Friends. I'm sure you're wondering, "wait, Priyanka...where are you going with this? Huh? Whaaaaaa?" Well, my friends, something similar has happened to me, but I will stress I did not get left in the dust with a pint of ice cream and re-runs of Friends. Instead I ate an entire pizza and watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy. No shame!

While I was in my junior year in college, a guy that I kind of sort of knew approached me at a party. After a few minutes of chatting about absolutely nothing of consequence, we exchanged numbers. And of course, I was giddy about that. A guy gave me his number! Hello! That's a fairy tale in the making! NOT. Anyway, he texted me later that night with something that, at the moment, seemed so incredibly appealing. He texted me this, "You wanna learn how to juggle?" Yup! Juggle! He asked me if I wanted to learn how to juggle. I didn't see the innuendo in there at all. I was intrigued! I quickly texted him back saying that I was immensely interested in learning how to juggle.  

So, he picked me up, and we went to his place where no form of juggling took place.  We ended up watching “the Office” and making out. What a dreamboat. Needless to say, it was one of the most underwhelming make-out sessions I’ve ever had.  I didn’t even stay at his place; after a few "magical hours" he dropped me back off at my dorm. He didn't walk me to my door or anything. He drove off...leaving me in the dust, in a sense. He never called me back, never acknowledged my presence. I will admit I was upset over it for a couple of days, but quickly snapped out of it and thought about how he was definitely not the type of guy I would want to be my significant other in any way, shape, or form. I think it's safe to say that I will never ever fall for a pick up line involving the act of juggling or of fondling circular objects (volleyballs, soccer balls, crystal balls, marbles, etc.). 

Lesson learned. Cross my heart and hope it never happens again!

Speaking of horrible pick-up lines, Jimmy Fallon has a segment on his late night show called "Late Night Hashtags." In this clip he asked people to tweet him the worst pick-up lines. ENJOY!