One of the most annoying forms of social contact is PDA. When I’m out at a restaurant and I see a couple start making out and eating each other’s faces rather than their food...I feel like throwing up. Not conducive to enjoying a meal. When I’m at the super market picking up my necessities, and I walk into the cleaning aisle and BEHOLD there’s a couple groping each other I feel like disinfecting them! Who knew Lysol and Palmolive could be so erotic--they must be kinky folk.
PDA, as you all probably know, is short hand for “public displays of affection” that most couples engage in when they are in a healthy, fruitful (if ya know what I mean) relationship. There’s nothing wrong with PDA. I believe that hand holding and hugging is cute! It is normal to want to show affection and in some cases show the world that you are enamored with someone. It encourages me to go out there and find someone to hold hands with (anyone want to hold my hand, plz?!) because it’s so dang cute, but when you see those couples making out ferociously or grabbing each other’s butts it’s annoying and frustrating! Why you gotta rub that shit in people’s faces?! Also why you gotta rub your girlfriend’s backside in front of everybody?! How is that cool?! How ISN’T that utterly embarrassing? Cut it out! It’s so annoying!
- Making out in public. There are some couples out there who are not shy when it comes to making out. They just spontaneously find each other incredibly delicious at the moment and start sucking face. Like I said before, when I’m out eating I DON’T wanna see that, fools!
- Stroking. I’m talking about when a woman strokes her man’s back. Or a man strokes his woman’s arm. Or when a woman strokes her man’s hand. Or when a man strokes his woman’s knee. Or when they stroke each other’s hair. Or when I walk up to both man and woman and stroke their faces to show them how annoying it is!
- Ass grabbing. So this happened at a bar once about a year ago. There was a slightly older couple (maybe in their mid-50s) standing by a table with a large group of friends. They were both facing away from the rest of the bar, which means that everyone in the vicinity had a clear view of what happened next. The man reached over and grabbed the woman’s ass. And he squeezed it. His hand was there for A RIDICULOUSLY LONG TIME. WHY GOD WHY. It felt like someone poured acid into my eyes.
I am definitely a believer in moderation (except when it comes to coffee, pizza, and blueberry doughnuts.) I completely encourage the meaningful eye stare, the hand on the middle of the back, and especially the holding of the hands. There is, of course, a limit. It is a fine line to cross over into too much PDA, and when it happens I get pretty annoyed. Also, grabbing of the ass automatically labels that couple as trashy. Another PDA don't is when a couple walks with their hands in the other person's back pocket. The awkward cousin of ass-grabbing.
ReplyDeleteI have realized in the past few years that the most awkward form of PDA is the "I just met you and I'm trying to speed things along PDA". Like to me, it's less awkward to kiss a stranger than to hold their hand, have them stroke your back, etc. that stuff is really intimate and should come naturally over time once you have gotten to know each other. A friend a couple of years ago went on a first date with a real loser and afterward she brought him to a Party I was at and he was stroking her back and holding her hand while they were standing. Call me weird but hand holding is for walking not standing. Oh and he awkwardly pinched her cheek at one point. I almost died. Anyway, I really wish guys would realize doing that stuff so early is just a false sense of intimacy and makes the girl feel awkward. Not a good way to move forward.
ReplyDelete