Oh Christmas Tree

My apartment has looked rather desolate and bare for the past two Christmases (and the only Christmases I have lived there…oops). Strange as it may seem, I continue to assist in the decoration of my parents’ home, yet never take the time to make my personal space look as festive and cheery.

To save you a lot of boring, personal mumbo jumbo I shall simply say that that is no more! This year I am going all out! Well…kind of. I’ve enlisted the aid of my mom (if I help her decorate, she can return the favor) to come over this weekend and 1. Help me do a MASSIVE cleaning (my apartment is in desperate need of this) and 2. Tote over decorations (I’m “borrowing” old Christmas decorations that my parents no longer use…per my mom’s influence in the household) and help decorate my space. All I need is a cheery fireplace and the scene is set. However, seeing as how that’s an impossibility, I’ll happily settle on the decorations and…a Christmas tree!!

The church at one entrance to my neighborhood always sells Christmas trees. The trees are small, adorable and basically the perfect size. Every time I drive by I gaze longingly at those perfect conifers and yes, fantasize about walking through the lines of trees with the snow falling down all around me. Oh, and I’d also burst into song, musical style, or like the Glee Christmas episode from a year or two back (Finn and Rachel were separated – yet still Christmas tree shopping together – and break into a rendition of Last Christmas). Although to reenact that accurately I’d need to not be in a relationship. I’ve got the covered! Oh wait…they had been dating and then broke up…kind of puts a damper on things. But it’s all good! I actually want to go Christmas tree shopping with friends or even solo. I’ll explain. Think about it this way. This is my first time buying my own Christmas tree, a live one to boot, and I want nothing but positive memories surrounding the experience. This is not to say that it wouldn’t be one if I experienced it with a guy; however, I hardly think he’ll be willing to burst into song…and then pay for my tree. I’m kidding!

In all seriousness though, I’m young, single and getting a Christmas tree would be an incredibly fun thing to do with my girlfriends. Think about how entertaining and ridiculous the situation could be. A couple girlfriends and me attempting to get the tree to my car, tying it on top, maneuvering it off my car, lugging it to my door, you get the picture. Just thinking about it makes me laugh. Who needs a guy when you can have times (imaginative at this point) like that?

At a time when people can often get down on themselves for not being in a relationship (all those Holiday parties, Christmas events/plans and New Years Eve certainly do not help), I have determined to stay positive and surround myself with great people and fun activities.  This is the time to be thankful for all we do have, not lament over what we feel is missing. I will definitely take this opportunity to not only settle myself more officially into my living space, but work on enhancing the relationships that already exist.

The Dreaded Question

There have been a few people from high school in town lingering after Thanksgiving break, so last night a few of us went out for dinner and to catch up.  Conversation was going well.  We mostly gossiped about people in high school and what kind of shenanigans they're up to now.  Now, the people that I was at dinner with were not people that I was friends with in high school.  As a matter of fact, I never socialized with these people.  To be quite honest, I felt super awkward and was more interested in my beer and enchiladas.  Yup.  Oh, and the Grizzlies game that was playing on the TV that was conveniently located right in my line of vision.  I would occasionally tune into the conversation contribute and then tune back out.  This strategy was working out great until one of the girls looked at me (after having interrogated every one else) and asked me the one question that I hate and dread regardless of who it comes from (it could come from someone I absolutely adore and it would still bug the shit out of me).  She looked at me, smiled sincerely and said, "So, Priyanka! How about you?! Are you seeing anyone?!" Everyone turned their heads and stared at me awaiting my answer.  I simply frowned and said, "Nope!" I promptly took a huge swig from my beer and shoved my face with food.  I mean I understand that people ask that question sincerely (like this girl did) wanting to know about your life and how you're doing, but it just rubs me the wrong way every time.  I always want to think of something more creative to say in response, but it never quite works out.  Most times I have to hold my tongue and prevent myself from getting defensive.  I have in the past gotten defensive when asked that question and have blurted out things like, "What the fuck kinda question is that!" or "Fuck off!" I'm not an angry person haha I just feel awkward with that question!  You know why? Because I can never/have never been able to say, "YES I AM SEEING SOMEONE!"  Never.

Anyway back to dinner.  After guzzling down beer and chomping on some more enchiladas, my roommate looked over at me and said, "Oh, you have a crush on that guy!" and then progressed to tell the whole table about a guy that I have always kind of had a thing for but know that it'll never go anywhere beyond friendship.  It sucks but it is a sucky truth that I'm working on coming to terms with...makes it difficult when you're hanging out frequently but aren't supposed to feel attached.  I don't know. It's weird.  That's a whole other psychological issue that I'll have to discuss with y'all later.  My roommate went on to describe this guy and that I have a crush on him.  I got some feedback regarding this guy as everyone had met him during our post-Thanksgiving housewarming party.  No one particularly liked him.  One girl made an interesting comment.  The guy wore a vest to the party.  She said, "I don't know about you guys, but a rule that I have is that if a guy puts that much effort into thinking about wearing a vest then he certainly has NO time to think about me."  This gem of wisdom really struck a cord with me.  Now, this post is veering off into another topic, but I just need to touch it (that's what she said!!)!  When a guy wears something like a vest or a fedora...what does that say about the guy?  He thought about an accessory.  That does make me think that he is probably self absorbed? Maybe he's too concerned with the way he presents himself to other people rather than me.  I don't know.  I think this is bordering into over analyzing which I try very hard not to do (ironic because I think that's all I do with my blog posts haha).

I'm confused y'all! Confused about guys and why they wear fedoras and vests! Also, I hate having to tell people repeatedly that I'm not seeing someone.  Why don't you guys come up with some funny retorts that I can brandish at people when they ask me if I'm seeing someone? Seriously! Gimme your best one liners!

Deep Thoughts - Facebook Status

We all know that a relationship is not official unless it is made public on Facebook, and over the Holiday weekend a lot of people made it public. I get the excitement behind finding someone you want to be with and someone who wants to be with you, and naturally the next step is to share your happiness; however, it can have a depressing effect on its single viewers.

Typically, I have one of two reactions. The first (and this is on my better days) is to react with, “God no, I don’t want that commitment right now!” (Although, at some level I’m probably secretly jealous, at the time I utter such sentiments, I genuinely am confident, and firm, in the words I am saying.) The second is when I actually pause for a few minutes and reevaluate where I am in my life; where I am going (what happened in this instance). 

Lately, I have been concentrating 98% of my efforts in finding a new job. I’ve been networking, going on informational interviews, meeting with recruiters, etc. Starting my career is incredibly important to me. I know where I want to be going with my life, and I am eager to get there.

That being said, a guy does factor into that equation. Therefore, it would be nice to have my own “in a relationship” Facebook status. However, as dating does not really qualify as one of my top five fun activities, I tend to push it to the backburner. Making a concerted effort to change means pushing myself when I don’t necessarily want to.  Yes, dear readers, this might have something to do with why I am still single. To be fair, I have been stepping up my game; although, I will be the first to admit that I can step it up a bit more.

Such deep thoughts, and all because of Facebook’s relationship status updates.  

When I’m in a relationship I can’t decide if I’ll broadcast that fact in ALL CAPS ON FACEBOOK, or refuse to ever acknowledge the fact so publicly. We shall have to wait and see…

My Food Fantasy

It’s the day after Thanksgiving, and I think it’s safe to say that I am over stuffed with pounds and pounds of homemade comfort food.  So much so that (for now) the sight or mention of mac n’ cheese or risotto is gonna make me have a gag reflex.  Yesterday was great.  My mom and I watched the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade together and had a colossal breakfast consisting of biscuits, scrambled eggs, bacon, and coffee.  No fruits.  Healthy food was not allowed yesterday.  After about two hours of laying on the couch marinating in all the breakfast I devoured, I decided to get started on the pumpkin spice chocolate chip cookies I promised to bring to Thanksgiving potluck dinner at my brother’s place.  I set to gathering all of the necessary ingredients (confession #1: I ate about two handfuls of chocolate chips in the process of prepping...oopsy) and proceeded to bake and listen to music and occasionally do some lunges or squats because I started feeling a tad bit guilty (the guilty feeling lasted for all of maybe two minutes).  The holidays to me (specifically the day OF) are heavily centered on eating as much as I can stuff in my face.  I mean I spend the whole fucking year portion controlling, exercising, unsuccessfully juicing; I deserve a few days to just let myself go and not care!  In fact from the moment I woke up yesterday to the time that I fell asleep, I was in a baggy sweater and long work out tights.  

Back to baking.  You guys, I wish I could live in the smell that was wafting through the air in the kitchen.  I was basically getting high off of the aroma being dispelled from the oven: a combination of pumpkin, cloves, nutmeg, cinnamon and ginger.  In the middle of my blissful food fest, I got a text message from one of my guy friends (yes, one that I kind of have a crush on) asking me if I wanted to go catch a movie before we had our respective t-giving gatherings.  At first, my heart skipped a beat and I became super excited at the prospect of hanging out with him.  This feeling quickly dissipated as I was snapped back to reality by the oven timer indicating to me that the first batch of cookies were done!  The freshly baked cookies were calling my name! I took them out of the oven and bit into one to...you know...make sure they turned out alright!  (confession #2: I ended up taste testing about five and a half cookies)  One bite of that cookie and the thought of leaving the task at hand put a slight damper on my mood.  Another thought occurred to me as well--I would have to change out of my “eating” clothes and put on something cute.  I know that I’m single and 24 and should probably jump at every opportunity to hang out with a guy, but I think yesterday was a VERY GOOD day to take a break from all that!  I texted him back and said, “Sorry! I’m super busy today!  Let’s see that movie some other time!”  

Yeah.  I rejected an offer to hang out with a guy I like to bake and devour cookies.  Sometimes you need to reward yourself.  As the lovely Tom Haverford would say, “TREAT YOURSELF!”  To all those women out there who are either in a relationship or not in one, I hope you indulged in all your gluttonous fantasies yesterday and ate until your hearts content.  I sure did.  Now that it is the day after Thanksgiving, I am looking forward to taking a break from gorging on food...at least until Christmas.  Maybe I’ll text that guy back and see if he wants to go see that movie tonight?

Bust Out Your Thanksgiving Pants!

With Thanksgiving right around the corner (literally, considering it is tomorrow), I thought it would be fitting to talk about food…oh, and family, too!

The first order of business, however, is to reference the Friends Thanksgiving episode. Monica was not planning on making a turkey, but after the fuss Joey makes about it she agrees; however, he promises to finish the entire turkey (no easy feat as you will see if you watch the link attached above). And here our story begins! After attempting to eat all of the turkey in one sitting, Joey stands up claiming that a change of pants is in order (jeans have no give after all)! He reenters the apartment wearing some rather interesting pants that Phoebe immediately identifies as her maternity pants. Alas, they are Thanksgiving pants now! Joey then proceeds to finish off the turkey, and so conquers his mighty opponent; his Everest.

So ladies and gents, bust out your Thanksgiving pants! Take them out tonight, maybe wash them, air them, make them smell nice, all to get them ready for their big role!

Now, I will assume that tomorrow you have come prepared to eat, Thanksgiving pants in tow (I understand if you must keep up appearances until right before the feast). You will all gather around the table (or wherever tradition takes you) and begin conversing…but mainly eating. After all, Thanksgiving is not only about its rich history, but food, family, more food, family pestering (good naturedly, but still, pestering), and a whole lot more food.

It is when you are all seated that relatives you don’t see often let their questions fly. Parents and siblings are only too happy to hop on this bandwagon in hopes of gleaning as much information as possible about your personal life that you don’t deign to share with them on a regular basis (although what makes them think that you are likely to let it all out, so to speak, to your relatives, in their presence, I don’t know).

(Sidenote: I realize this is a blog about being single, and yet, I hope that you can see that I am indeed leading up to that. However, I shall not belabor the point as tomorrow is supposed to be a festive, joyous time and no one needs to be forced to endure more of the topic of being single.)

As dating and relationships tend to comprise a large part of an individual’s life, it is predictable that the conversation turns down that path. Grandma might jumpstart the conversation: “So, honey, how are things going with you? How’s your job? Have you talked to so-and-so lately? Have you been going out a lot?” Warning bells start going off with this question, if they haven’t been from the beginning. We all know where this is heading. “Are you dating anyone? Why not? Are you really dating someone and just not telling us?” Thanks Grandma.

To be perfectly honest, because of the delicious food – which vastly improves my mood – and with the thought of dessert quickly to follow, my spirits remain upbeat. I answer their questions as I typically do and craftily (in my opinion at least) change the topic, imbuing the atmosphere humor and wit! Collecting their laughs as my due, the evening continues on joyously (see, the thought of all that food is improving my mood as we speak…I’m waxing lyrical about my own humor and wit of all things!)

I suppose what I’m driving at here is that if you have your Thanksgiving pants on, you can endure countless questions about your status and maintain a positive outlook throughout!

Happy eating! 

Workin' on Mah Fitness...

I started running a little over a year ago.  I don't mean to toot my own horn but I've gotten pretty good at it.  I can run mileS without feeling like I might keel over and die.  I actually enjoy it!  This is going to sound cheesy, but I love the feeling of the wind in my hair!  I love the speed!  It feels so liberating.  And on top of that I feel so strong!  I feel like a badass running down the sidewalk past every house, every mail box, every slow person walking their dog (muahaha!), etc.  On a regular day I will run at a steady pace so I don't get too tired or slow down.  One thing that I have noticed I do when I'm running is speed up the second I see an attractive guy.  I don't know what it is but seriously every time! I think that deep down inside I'm either trying to impress the guy by running by him really fast OR I'm running away from having to interact or look at him while I'm a sweaty, out of breath mess.  What I have learned after a year of steady running is that there are a lot of attractive men out there who run!  I don't do a ton of races, but it is good incentive to start!  I will sometimes receive a smile or a wave.  Approximately twice I've gotten the, "Hey how's it going!" to which I usually reply "It's aklsdf going laskdfja well!" I can't really carry on a conversation when I'm running because I'm all out of breath, phlegmy, and then I'm salivating...you guys I'm just a big fuckin' mess. 

Another form of working out that I love is yoga.  Yoga is great for the body, the soul, the mind, my butt  and thighs.  It's relaxing and rewarding.  I always feel centered after a good one hour and fifteen minute yoga session (especially savasana. Nap time!).  Yoga is a great way to meet people.  Everyone is super friendly and welcoming. Yoga, I have come to realize, isn't a good way to meet guys though.  I have been to a couple of yoga classes with one or two attractive guys and they are almost always incredibly douche-y or gay.  Yup.  Lots of gay guys in town who do yoga.  I guess they have to keep up their...flexibility...One place where I will openly laugh at guys is in Bikram yoga.  I haven't been to Bikram in a few weeks to give you any brand new stories, but DUDE the guys in those classes are absolutely disgusting.  They are narcissistic Adonis's who are absolutely OBSESSED with themselves! There is a large mirror in the front of the class and nine times out of ten I catch the guys checking themselves out in the mirror.  The last class I attended I was sandwiched between a rather large, hairy guy in his boxer briefs and a muscular man in tighty whities.  He looked like he had no problems filling out his man panties but really...no one needs to see that! 

Working out for me not only started as a way to become healthy and boost my self-esteem but also a way to meet people...particularly guys.  I haven't really had any success with meeting any guys per se, but getting the occasional smile or wave from a guy I am running by certainly does wonders for my confidence!  And even though I don't meet any guys in yoga, I'll continue to do it so that my chakras will remain aligned and my butt will remain firm! Namaste!  

Casual Encounters

No, this doesn’t have anything to do with the Craigslist Casual Encounters section. Disappointing, I know. Although don’t get your hopes up. This, my friends, is about exactly what it sounds like. Things are about to get personal…in a purely hypothetical situation sense (had you fooled for a second, didn’t I?)

Scenario: So you and a guy (we shall call him Bobby) have a “casual encounter.” Obviously a certain level of interest exists; however, how much interest on Bobby’s part remains to be seen. Time passes; there is very little communication and then the communication flat lines. As months go by life continues, you meet new people, blah blah blah, and then, out of the blue, Bobby contacts you. Wait for it…he will most likely be returning to town shortly (okay, so maybe this is a little personal). While I – I mean you – would like to be all high and mighty, high and mighty doesn’t enter into your playbook. Not to mention that you know the guy isn’t a bad guy, the type of guy you often run into at bars who is blatantly...not a quality fellow. Therefore, you are left feeling slightly unsure and not aware of how best to approach this situation.

If you go into it with the same attitude that most men approach women with (by this I mean going into an encounter, sexual or otherwise, to have fun and to not overanalyze), is there a need to get wrapped up in…dun dun dun…THE FUTURE? (dramatic music playing in the background) Absolutely not, and logically I think we all know that…at some level anyways. Yet, despite that knowledge, doubts and fears rise to the surface. Going into any interaction then becomes a struggle because instead of simply having fun, you are too busy overanalyzing: Oh my gosh, he said “this.” Does that mean he likes me? He touched my arm. Was it a “Hey, I think you’re a great friend” touch or a “You’re so hot and I like you” touch? This (waving hands expansively) is EXACTLY what I am, and I’m sure a lot of us are, trying so hard to avoid. It is hardly an attractive quality and surely sends men packing. (Awareness is the first step, ladies!)

All that being said, if casual encounters aren’t your thing, or if you don’t have enough experience with them to know if they are a fit for you, how do you approach the situation? Fake it till you make it? Pretend that you’re okay with a casual fling and then try and move on in private once he fades back into the woodwork, which he most likely will. They say patience is a virtue (cliché phrase, but you get the point), but I say it sucks.  So I guess this scenario brings to the fore a valuable question: How long do you wait for a guy?

In one of the many eHarmony advice columns that my roommate sends me, I ran across one that talked about how men move slower and take more time to recognize their feelings for you. That is all well and good, but now what? Unfortunately, eHarmony didn’t give a time line, but I think that a timeline is something that each woman needs to determine for herself. If after X amount of weeks or months the same pattern continues, then it is probably time to move on and find someone new.

So what are your views on casual encounters? Are they are a good thing? A bad thing? A waste of time? 

Opposites Attract!

Occasionally when I'm out people-watching (ok, fine.  All the time), I notice a few couples who make me think to myself, "How the hell did that work out?!"  They're just so dissimilar.  So opposite.  They look like they wouldn't work in a million years!  There are lots of couples like that out there in the world.  Even celebrity couples.  For example, when Evan Rachel Wood started going steady with Marilyn Manson (YIKES) people were up in arms and so confused.  I mean Evan Rachel Wood is so beautiful and a great actress.  Marilyn Manson is just...well, he's fucking scary!  Opposites attract.  And then there's Christina Hendricks and her guy (I don't even know what his name is, that's how much it doesn't make sense to me).

I went to dinner with my mom tonight and the couple sitting at the table next to us was SO different.  The girl was very conservatively dressed in a cute quarter length sleeve dress and tights--she even had a Blair Waldorf-esque headband on her hair.  The guy was a complete hippy.  He was wearing ripped up jeans, sandals, beat up flannel shirt.  I kid you not, I think I stared at them several times during dinner trying to come up with a scenario in which the two of them would meet up.  Maybe at a college party where the girl stumbled across him hanging out in a drum circle with his buddies lighting up a bong perhaps?  Or maybe he stumbled across her at a sorority sponsored on-campus function with free refreshments?  Maybe they had a class together?  The possibilities are endless and oddly college-y.  I was getting a vibe that they were still in college.  They were different but totally adorable together.  Just so comfortable with each other and so happy! It was kind of refreshing to see.

Whenever I see couples that seem like complete opposites, it makes me question myself and whether I am limiting myself in the romance department.  Maybe I am not opening myself up for more opportunities by having such a formulaic dream guy in my head.  I always picture/fantasize myself ending up with that one specific type of guy (I won't go into any details regarding what kind of guy I would love to end up in a relationship with because y'all would laugh at me.  It's horribly specific and...now that I'm writing this post...seemingly unrealistic).  I never imagine myself in a different scenario.  Well, even if I do venture off the beaten path I tend to get scared and revert to what I already know.  It totally sucks.  I'm sure I'm limiting my possibilities.  I should probably be more open to accepting advances from other types of guys...it's a scary proposition but maybe my Marilyn Manson is waiting for me!  Hahahaha jk.  I really don't want to date someone like Marilyn Manson...I mean c'mon.  Those of you who know me cannot imagine me with someone like that.  Anyway, I guess I should try to be open to other options at this point in my life.  What do you guys think?  Stick to what you know/what you innately like? Or veer off and try something new? It's daunting but possibly very exciting!