Valentine's Cards Decoded

Stumbled upon this a few minutes ago and thought I would share. Yes, "decoding" is kind of overanalyzing, but I thought it was interesting. Enjoy!
http://glo.msn.com/horoscopes/#!stackState=5__%2Frelationships%2Fhis-valentines-day-card-decoded-8917.gallery

Guys and Bananas

Short story for you. Two weekends ago I was at a private makeup session at the mall. It was one of those events where you go in and have 20 minutes scheduled (although it ends up being closer to an hour) with a makeup artist who proceeds to do your makeup and answer any questions you may have about technique.

My smoky eye finished, and my mom’s unfortunate streetwalker look complete (no fault of hers), we gather the products intended for purchase and go to check out. Now we are friends with the lady (we have given her quite a bit of business over the past however many years) and as we are chatting she informs us that they have partnered with some group, and as such we each get a copy of “Over You,” a novel by Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus. As I stand there waiting for my mom to finish paying for her makeup, I read the back of the book. Essentially it is about a teenage girl who gets her heart broken by a boy and then turns her heartache into a business of helping other young girls recover from their own bad breakups.

I have to admit that I was curious to see if the book had any gems of wisdom. However, once I returned home the book found its way to the pile of romance novels stacked on the floor (I need more bookshelves) and remained forgotten until a day or two later when I found myself with a random chunk of spare time. Wanting to read, but not wanting to get too invested in a book, my eyes wandered over my options and landed on “Over You.” “Oh, why not?” I thought to myself, so I picked up the book, stretched out on my bed, and with my kitty snuggled against my side, settled in to read.

In my opinion, the target audience is teenage girls. That being said, the book is cute and has some amusing, relatable moments. One such moment was the inspiration for this post, the excerpt of which I will include below:

“Guys are so confusing! She looks over at the pile of bananas. It’s so clear which fruit are good and which ones are rotten. You can see it before you make your investment. Why cant boys be more like bananas? Why do you have to put your heart out there before you find out you picked a bad one?”

As I read this I found myself nodding in agreement…and I may or may not have been heard to utter the word, “yeah!”

If you think about it, it is a good point. It is so blatant if a banana is bad, but with a guy you can be fooled long before their true nature is revealed. It is a vulnerable position to find yourself in. Nobody wants to expose themselves only to discover that the individual hearing all this personal information is, for lack of a better phrase, not worth you going to the trouble…and not worthy of you.

And I love the phrase “make your investment.” Guys are an investment! You don’t want to waste your time on someone that isn’t going to grow with you.

Personally, I don’t think it needs to be as obvious as a rotten banana. Sure, it would be nice, really nice, if it were so easily recognizable, but I think it comes down to trusting your intuition.

Now that that has been said, let’s enjoy some images of guys dressed up as bananas!

http://www.google.com/#hl=en&tbo=d&output=search&sclient=psy-ab&q=guys+in+banana+suits&oq=guys+in+banana+suits&gs_l=hp.3..0i22l2.703.2974.0.3182.20.18.0.1.1.1.265.2237.6j10j2.18.0.les%3B..0.0...1c.1.gTZvNICWnhY&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&bvm=bv.41524429,d.aWM&fp=171f1ce03d5b6aef&biw=1116&bih=631

Baby, Baby, Baby, Oh!

As I sipped on my coffee one fine morning, I decided to hit up some o' the good ole gossip sites.  In huge capitalized letter the first headline read "KIM KARDASHIAN IS PREGNANT."  At first I laughed because...well...c'mon.  And then I racked my brain trying to remember who she was in a relationship with...oh yeah...Kanye West.  That is gonna be one "talented" baby!  I could go on a long rant about how much I dislike Kanye but somewhat love his music (pre-crazy Kanye) and how I think someone needs to check that man...but I'll spare you.  The point is that Kim and Kanye ("Kimye") are not married, and Kim is pregnant.

More and more couples these days are having children out of wedlock.  Of course I don't think there's anything wrong with this.  I think it's great.  If you and your partner really want a baby, nothing should stop you from having one especially if you think you're ready.  Now, it's great that people are flying more and more by the seat of their pants and taking on the immense responsibility of becoming parents and delaying/bypassing marriage.  It's becoming more common for people to start families and then put a ring on it.  I guess that's one way to know that you're ready to get married!

If I got pregnant and wanted to have a baby out of wedlock, my parents would disown my ass in the blink of an eye.  Like that would be the worst conversation.  The most awkward.  God, my dad would freak out.  It would be a moment similar to this: face melting.  I don't even see myself having a kid without being married first.  However, seeing as I am a self-professed spinster woman in the year 2013, I don't think marriage is in the foreseeable future.  Thanks to an increasingly progressive society and modern medicine, I could easily adopt an adorable foreign baby or hire a surrogate and zip that precious cargo around in a flying car (seriously, when are they gonna start making those?! I really want one!).  The possibilities are endless!  Society is becoming more and more accommodating to my kind! Anyway, how acceptable is it to you to have a baby out of wedlock?  What if Justin Bieber had a baby out of wedlock? Umm...yikes?

Breakup Season? How Depressing

While doing some "research" for a post coming up, I stumbled upon this article:
http://living.msn.com/love-relationships/the-heart-beat-blog-post?post=c458fb2c-a562-48d8-841d-d8dd4fd9028a
I had read previously that January is known as the "breakup month," but I was blissfully ignorant that there is a "National Breakup Season." All I could think was, "wow, that's depressing."
Hopefully there aren't too many of us out there right now proving this statistic true!

Easy Reads

To ease into the weekend (if you’re lucky, a long one), I have decided that in lieu of a lengthy post, I will instead provide some interesting (and hopefully lighthearted) articles for your viewing pleasure.

The power of positive thinking. This article (although from 2011 leading into 2012) addresses a life shift from stressed to blessed.

http://living.msn.com/life-inspired/year-of-happiness/article?cp-documentid=32049128

The next article is a quick, fun read that talks about 13 things men still cannot seem to grasp concerning women. While entertaining, do you agree?

http://glo.msn.com/relationships/13-things-men-still-dont-know-about-women-8879.gallery#!stackState=5__%2Frelationships%2F13-things-men-still-dont-know-about-women-8879.gallery

How to Lose a Guy in...just kidding! How to have a Flirtationship. No, I did not just make up that word...somebody else did.

http://glo.msn.com/relationships/how-to-have-a-flirtationship-1534788.story

Let's talk about hair...facial hair. More specifically, men's facial hair. Apparently how a man is groomed can tell you a lot about him. Read on for more details.

http://glo.msn.com/relationships/what-his-facial-hair-says-about-him-5099.gallery#!stackState=0__%2Frelationships%2Fwhat-his-facial-hair-says-about-him-5099.gallery

And lastly, to get you pumped for my next post (twisty bobcat kind of pretzel).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aG55Y-zpxyo

What's the Dealio?

When you are out there in the dating world, chances are that you will be dating multiple men simultaneously. In fact, if you read what eHarmony writers post, you will know that this is encouraged for it keeps you from becoming too invested, too involved, too ruminative about one guy. It also provides the perfect opportunity to figure out what traits appeal most to you, discover behaviors that are off-putting; in short, determine what you like and what you are looking for.

This is all well and good; however, at some point feelings will naturally progress with one or two gentlemen, as the others fall by the wayside. This leaves you in an interesting spot. In all fairness, and out of respect for the other person, you cannot in good conscience continue seeing both men – unless you are only interested in casual dating. So, where do you go from here? As I see it, you have one option with two different conversational paths. You have to have a talk to get on the same page – I’m not talking a serious, drawn out conversation that is awkward and uncomfortable for you both, but one where you both understand what the other wants/is looking for. Now, path one is that you tell both men you are interested in seeing other people (thus casually dating); path two, you tell one man that you are looking for an exclusive relationship. Sounds easy enough, right?

If you are anything like me, this is where you start to bombard yourself with questions, the main two being: Do I want to know the answer? and When is the right time?

1. “Do I want to know the answer?” You have to be in the place to accept the answer, regardless of whether or not it is to your liking. If you don’t think that you can handle the possible negative outcome, it’s probably a smart idea to hold off for a while.
2. “When is the right time?” Don’t do this to yourself. No time is going to be the “right” time. Obviously feel out the situation. If your relationship is rocky given outside circumstances, wait a little bit. Just don’t romanticize the conversation or the conversation’s setting. Gird your loins and go for it! 

It is important to accept the vulnerability that comes with initiating the talk. No, it’s not fun, but denying that that vulnerability exists, or tamping it down, is not going to do you any favors. On the plus side, you are maintaining control of your destiny, so to speak. You’re not waiting for the guy to come to you and decide what is best for you to do. Instead, you are taking control and going after what you want. Because of that, the vulnerability, and the possible rejection, is worth it.

What are your opinions on how to have “the talk?” Casual dating?

Resolution: To Not Be A Serial

The definition of "serial" per Merriam-Webster is "performing a series of similar acts over a period of time".  The example accompanying this definition was "serial killer".  As much as I love Dexter, this post is not about him or serial killers.  This about a different type of serial.  The "serial dater".  You've heard of them.  You maybe even know one.  They scour the land, ravaging, pillaging, engaging in relations with a different person every few months...or every few weeks...one after the other.  Maybe it's an addiction.  Maybe it's daddy issues.  Whatever the reason is, serial daters are as much feared by society as they are predictable and enticing.

Taylor Swift, country music sensation with horrible songs that get stuck in your head after one fleeting whirl on the radio, recently broke up with her most current flame Harry Styles (member of stupid British boy band One Direction).  According to my most trusted celebrity gossip site, Harry Styles is 18 and Tay Tay (what I'll be calling her because it's funny and kinda dumb) is 23.  This is her second boyfriend in the past..oh say three months?  More disturbing--this has been her 10th boyfriend since 2008 when she first made her mark on this foresaken Earth.  I don't know about you...but Tay Tay has some serious commitment issues or too much commitment/eager beaverness (pun may or may not be intended...) or daddy issues.  I talked to a friend recently who thinks that she may have purposefully started dating furiously as of last year just so that she would have material for her new album.  What I don't understand is how she manages to get these guys in the first place. You would think that her well-known reputation would be kind of a warning sign that Tay Tay is single and ready to mingle and will write a nasty song about you once you break up with her (which at this point seems inevitable in every relationship she has from here on out).  I don't mean to sound harsh but GET A GRIP, TAY TAY!

One thing that I have noticed is that people who serial date are afraid of being alone.  They have insecurities and low self-esteem which leaves them yearning, hungering for love and attention from anyone (even if it is for approximately four weeks *cough* Tay Tay *cough*).  If you have low self-esteem and are insecure, wouldn't it be wise to work on yourself? Figure out who you are?  Learn to love yourself?  I feel that once you know how to fully love yourself for who you are, then and only then can someone else love you (unless that person is a shallow douche bag...which unfortunately is a possibility).  In the case of ole Tay Tay, you would think that someone who has won a countless number of awards, makes millions every day, and has the ability to write songs at the speed of lightening would be more confident in herself and her abilities.  From photos in magazines and gossip sites, she is always seen walking around with her head held high.  Seemingly oozing confidence.  It just goes to show you that things aren't always what they seem. The one who seems like the prettiest, most confident girl out there could very well be the most unhappy, sad girl.

Now, I'm not trying to sound like I'm bashing people who are serial daters.  I'm not.  I don't feel sorry for them either.  I mean...if I had the ability to charm the pants off of people that quickly then I wouldn't still be a single spinster sista driven to "waxing poetic" on a blog about being a spinster.  I just think that it is so important for you to know who you are and be happy with yourself.  You are after all supposed to be living life for your own happiness.  You shouldn't have to go out and try to prove a point.  You shouldn't have to try so hard to make yourself feel happy about...yourself.  You should already feel this way.  The goal I think should be to find someone you like because you like them not because they will make you feel a certain way--that feeling comes with time, I believe.

I know what you're thinking.  What the hell do I know about this stuff?  For someone who hasn't been on a date in close to four years and is turning into a dusty old hag, I'm not in the best position to be preaching about this kind of stuff.  I'm just looking out.  I'm just letting people out there know that it is ok to take time out for yourself for some self-discovery.  Ain't no shame in the self-discovery game, y'all.  However, there is shame in the serial dating game.  Wonder if Tay Tay will stumble across this post...