The definition of "serial" per Merriam-Webster is "performing a series of similar acts over a period of time". The example accompanying this definition was "serial killer". As much as I love Dexter, this post is not about him or serial killers. This about a different type of serial. The "serial dater". You've heard of them. You maybe even know one. They scour the land, ravaging, pillaging, engaging in relations with a different person every few months...or every few weeks...one after the other. Maybe it's an addiction. Maybe it's daddy issues. Whatever the reason is, serial daters are as much feared by society as they are predictable and enticing.
Taylor Swift, country music sensation with horrible songs that get stuck in your head after one fleeting whirl on the radio, recently broke up with her most current flame Harry Styles (member of stupid British boy band One Direction). According to my most trusted celebrity gossip site, Harry Styles is 18 and Tay Tay (what I'll be calling her because it's funny and kinda dumb) is 23. This is her second boyfriend in the past..oh say three months? More disturbing--this has been her 10th boyfriend since 2008 when she first made her mark on this foresaken Earth. I don't know about you...but Tay Tay has some serious commitment issues or too much commitment/eager beaverness (pun may or may not be intended...) or daddy issues. I talked to a friend recently who thinks that she may have purposefully started dating furiously as of last year just so that she would have material for her new album. What I don't understand is how she manages to get these guys in the first place. You would think that her well-known reputation would be kind of a warning sign that Tay Tay is single and ready to mingle and will write a nasty song about you once you break up with her (which at this point seems inevitable in every relationship she has from here on out). I don't mean to sound harsh but GET A GRIP, TAY TAY!
One thing that I have noticed is that people who serial date are afraid of being alone. They have insecurities and low self-esteem which leaves them yearning, hungering for love and attention from anyone (even if it is for approximately four weeks *cough* Tay Tay *cough*). If you have low self-esteem and are insecure, wouldn't it be wise to work on yourself? Figure out who you are? Learn to love yourself? I feel that once you know how to fully love yourself for who you are, then and only then can someone else love you (unless that person is a shallow douche bag...which unfortunately is a possibility). In the case of ole Tay Tay, you would think that someone who has won a countless number of awards, makes millions every day, and has the ability to write songs at the speed of lightening would be more confident in herself and her abilities. From photos in magazines and gossip sites, she is always seen walking around with her head held high. Seemingly oozing confidence. It just goes to show you that things aren't always what they seem. The one who seems like the prettiest, most confident girl out there could very well be the most unhappy, sad girl.
Now, I'm not trying to sound like I'm bashing people who are serial daters. I'm not. I don't feel sorry for them either. I mean...if I had the ability to charm the pants off of people that quickly then I wouldn't still be a single spinster sista driven to "waxing poetic" on a blog about being a spinster. I just think that it is so important for you to know who you are and be happy with yourself. You are after all supposed to be living life for your own happiness. You shouldn't have to go out and try to prove a point. You shouldn't have to try so hard to make yourself feel happy about...yourself. You should already feel this way. The goal I think should be to find someone you like because you like them not because they will make you feel a certain way--that feeling comes with time, I believe.
I know what you're thinking. What the hell do I know about this stuff? For someone who hasn't been on a date in close to four years and is turning into a dusty old hag, I'm not in the best position to be preaching about this kind of stuff. I'm just looking out. I'm just letting people out there know that it is ok to take time out for yourself for some self-discovery. Ain't no shame in the self-discovery game, y'all. However, there is shame in the serial dating game. Wonder if Tay Tay will stumble across this post...
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