Bars

I totally forgot to tell y'all a story about some random Indian guy who hit on me at a new bar a few months ago. I'll tell you the story now since nothing exciting related to the opposite sex has happened in my life recently.  

A new bar had opened back in November, and my friend and I decided to go check it out and have a girls night.  We get there, and the bar is of course really packed.  We had about a 40 minute wait for a table so we decided to sit at the bar and drink.  Things were going well.  The bar itself is pretty cool.  It's a bit on the trendy side.  All the waiters wear jeans and chambray shirts...trendy.  The chairs are stainless steel, hardwood galore, and lightbulbs hang nonchalantly from the ceilings.  The bar is generally crawling with the type of people that are not usually my cup of tea: young professionals, lots of couples, and snobby men and women.  I think the only reason I go back on occasion is for the foods.  They have a unique menu with a variety of options: for example, that night I had a seared tuna salad.  It wasn't super creative but you can't go wrong with seared tuna.  Also, I had a gin fizz drink that was made with egg whites!  So cool! And tasty.  The egg white gave it a vanilla quality.  Anyway, I just realized that I'm giving you a full blown critique of the bar and not progressing with my story.  After stuffing our faces with appetizers and downing a couple of drinks, me and my friend finally got our table.  As we were being seated, my friend recognized a guy that she had met a few times.  He was a nice guy and decided to sit with us and flirt with my friend the whole time.  He seemed nice, so I just sat there eating, drinking, and people watching.  

As I'm listening to my friend tell a story, I notice a super dorky looking guy walking over to our table.  I don't think anything of it until he walks right up to me and introduces himself to me.  My initial reaction is, "Oh god.  Why is this happening right now."  After telling me his name and shaking my hand, he gives me a folded up napkin and says, "So, my friend over at the bar wanted me to give you his number."  He pointed to the guy, and it was this super fob-ey ("fob" meaning fresh off the boat) who started to fervently wave at me.  He had an incredibly goofy look on his face.  He was wearing an embarrassingly tight shirt and looked like he had a shit ton of gel in his hair.  I didn't smile or wave back.  I looked at his friend and said, "Ok. Thanks." After the guy walked away, I turned to my friend and said, "Ok we have to get out of here.  Get our checks!"  Our waitress brought us our checks and as I'm taking my credit card out to pay, the Indian guy walks up to the table and stands right in front of me.  He taps me on the shoulder and says, "Hi! I just wanted to make sure that you got my number.  I would like to get to know you better.  Please call me.  Please."  You guys, I wanted to die.  He had the thickest accent, his stupid skin tight shirt had shimmery silver writing on it, and in all honesty I'm pretty sure he was gay.  Gay and confused.  He kept pleading with me to call him, and I kept giving him very vague responses.  Stuff like "Hmm...I'm sorry what did you say?  I can't hear very well" or "I'm like really busy for the rest of my life."  I really just wanted him to go away and leave me alone.  I wasn't attracted to the guy, and I mean there's the whole he-might-be-gay thing.  He stood at our table for a while because my friend's guy friend started talking to him.  It was excruciating.  As he walked away from our table, he pointed at me and said very loudly, "PLEASE CALL ME."  I wanted to die.  I took the napkin with his number on it, crumpled it up, and stuffed it under the left over food on my plate.  I'm pretty sure the whole bar saw that interaction and felt sorry for me.  

I attract weirdos.  Enough said.  Anyway, that was the last time I was genuinely hit on by a guy.  I am very sure at this point that there is no way to meet a decent guy at a bar while you're out; I think Aziz Ansari can attest to the fact that bars are not proper settings for meeting your soulmate.  

If you have any awkward/embarrassing/funny stories about guys hitting on you at bars, please share them with me!  I'd love for you to help me feel better about myself!