The Circle Back

Most of us realize that when a guy (or girl) who you have a history with, or who in all likelihood wanted to have a history with you, contacts you out of the blue that they have one thing on their mind: rekindling the past, and therefore thrusting themselves firmly into your consciousness. This often happens via Facebook; however, I have received a phone call or two in the past.

I remember when this happened to me the first time. I believe I was in my first year of college, in the car with a friend on my way back to campus. My phone rings, I pick it up and it turns out to be a guy I saw briefly my senior year in high school. I did not handle it well. I was genuinely confused as to why after such a long amount of time he was contacting me. Oh my young, innocent self. What was so obvious to my friend completely went over my head.

Well not this time my friends!

About a week ago a really sweet guy that I casually dated last fall Facebook messaged me (there was no chemistry, in my opinion, which is why things petered out). Learning from the past, I immediately knew what was going on. As I mentioned above, this guy is so sweet, and he always treated me incredibly well and respectfully, so I had no intention of toying with his emotions. We chatted throughout the day, catching up, and then he asked me out, to which I nicely said no.

Now, I want your opinion on the “circle back” – not in reference to my story above, but in regards to the concept in general.

At first I took the idea of the “circle back” negatively. Don’t get me wrong. Each time I was flattered to have been thought of and contacted again. However, I thought they were only interested in hooking up and not really getting to know me on a deeper level. The longer I thought about this, though, I realized that wasn’t really fair of me. I was jumping to conclusions and had no proof to back up my theory (although on that topic, I will say one thing: trust your gut. Take into account the guy’s character and trust what your instincts are telling you). And even if that is the reason for the renewed contact, who cares? If that’s something you’re okay with, than this isn’t a problem.

Bottom line: don’t assume. If you want to engage in conversation and see where things lead, go for it!

What are your views on the “circle back?” Has this ever happened to you? Any suggestions on how to handle it?