Cheating...and some eye candy

Last weekend I had a Sons of Anarchy extravaganza. It was as delicious as it sounds (thank you Charlie Hunnam!). Having already run, showered and garbed myself comfortably, I reclined on the couch, good food within reach, and settled in for the long haul.

During one of the many episodes we watched (no, I was not alone), Jax (Charlie Hunnam) was on the road with another biker/friend, out of town, when they come upon a young man having his girlfriend take pictures of him on Jax’s motorcycle. Long story short, Jax leaves with this chick and with the guy writhing on the ground clutching his face. Given that Jax is a virile male specimen, the ending to this encounter is obvious. Be honest here. If you were in this girl’s position, you would have gone for it, too. It’s Charlie Hunnam after all!

I digress (most pleasantly so…). Now if you follow the show at all you know that Jax and Tara (a girl he has a history with and who is currently back in Charming - the place of residence) are meant to be. Cliché, yes, but definitely true. Jax is still interested, and given the tension filled scenes between them, I’d say she is as well. However, here he is, out of Charming, and pursuing some random chick he met on the side of the road. (I wanted to say something here about how he wasn’t behaving “charming,” but that would have been a lie)

Clearly he was not cheating. They aren’t even together at this point, so he can do whatever he wants. However, it is my reaction that I want to draw attention to. Yes, Jax eventually sleeps with her (blatantly cheating); however, even before that point when he was flirting and you just knew what he has on his mind, I was disappointed. In fact, I said he was cheating.  My friends quickly corrected this and pointed out the obvious: that he and Tara are not dating, so not cheating.

In my mind, why would he pursue this little tart when Tara is back home, a woman he is interested in?! I voiced this, when my friend chimed in with, “That’s the lifestyle, Bri! You have to get used to it!” It was amusing because I knew it was a joke and, in fact, she probably agreed with me.

So when I was researching articles and came across this one on cheating, I knew what I had to do: talk about Sons of Anarchy. While I will use any excuse to talk about Charlie Hunnam, the article, and my reaction, bring to mind an interesting topic. What exactly constitutes cheating? Is emotional cheating worse than physical? Are sending flirty texts, maintaining contact with an ex, texting other men/women while in a relationship cheating?

What I have found is that each friend I have talked to has a slightly different idea as to what comprises it. One might have a negative reaction to her guy talking to a woman at a bar, or another might dislike that he has lots of female friends and worries about how sought after he is. Whatever it is, we each have our own history (our upbringing, parent’s relationship with one another and with ourselves, etc.) that triggers our reactions to certain behaviors. As long as you know what cheating means for you, and you make that clear and set that boundary with your significant other, than there is no need to get hung up on the overarching topic of cheating.

So no, I am not going to go off on the specifics of what cheating means for me, but I will say to seriously think about what it means for you. What behaviors you will accept and what is a flat out, 100% unacceptable deal breaker.

I believe it is important to know where you stand prior to a relationship because you want to make sure that you are not changing your views to cater to your partner. If you have thought about this beforehand, it will make it easier to stick to your guns and to put your foot down if need be.