"Is he cute?"

The other night I went to a Halloween Party with a bunch of friends…dressed as a skunk (personally, I think the costume turned out great). It is a given that dancing will be taking place at some point during the evening, and indeed, my friends, it did. Before even making it out onto the dance floor I’m bobbing around, shaking my little skunky tail, just loving life. Then the time comes to brave the massive, swaying crowd as we push and dance our way closer to the front.

Now, working all day with a two-year-old makes me appreciate the plentiful male surroundings. I loved being around all those boys! I didn’t necessarily want to talk to them or dance with them, only look and admire and soak up their presence (what can I say?). However, just because I might not want to engage in any interaction does not mean that they feel the same. Inevitably you are approached, danced up on (shaking their booty on me was apparently highly amusing), the recipient of some pickup lines (“Hey, you don’t smell.” Yes, this was actually used on me last night – but don’t forget, I was a skunk), or outright manhandling. When the bold simply come and grab what they want – you – you are left trying to figure out precisely who is behind you and if you want him there. This situation leads to one of my all time favorite girl techniques: the “Is he cute?”

When you can’t see who is behind you (granted, you could simply turn and look up at him, but for some reason we never do this), and you’ve given up on slowly edging away while shooting desperate looks in your friends’ direction hoping one of them correctly interprets your look and pulls you away, it is up to your friends (those that are nearby) to determine whether the gentlemen is worthy of your stellar dance moves.

So the other night, one of the girls I was with employed this technique. Some brash young gentlemen yanked her to him, and being a good sport, she goes along with it. However, not ten seconds go by before I see her casting a desperate look at me in hopes that I’ll turn and catch her eye. As soon as I do so, “Is he cute?” immediately whispers through the air towards me (that’s the romance novels talking). Mentally I’m laughing because this is so quintessentially female. I have never seen a guy whisper to his buddy if the girl he is dancing with is cute. Anyways, I mutter some nondescript response because to each her own. She eventually pulls away and decides for herself that he is in fact not worthy and moves closer to our social group.

If your friend, however, has no compunction flat out saying “No! Get away from him NOW!” (not really how I roll, but I certainly have friends who practice this – and if I’m being honest, it has definitely come in handy) then they become the aggressor and pull you away, leaving the guy bereft and downcast. Okay, it’s probably not as dramatic as that, but surely no guy likes facing rejection.

I am sure that at one point or another we have all utilized this technique. I picture back to the 1800s where ladies probably developed signals to call for help from their girlfriends across a crowded ballroom (again, the romance novels). Yes, the technique must have been around for quite some time. All jokes aside, let’s be honest ladies. Have you used the “Is he cute?” in the past? Have you found it to be effective? Or is there perhaps a more straightforward approach that has garnered equally successful results?