The Office!

During the summer months I feel like there aren’t a whole lot of fun things to watch on t.v., so I unfortunately turn to Netflix.  Netflix.  It’s like a black hole of brain melting, time wasting television series, movies, and documentaries.  I’m normally not a huge fan of Netflix, but for some damn reason I can’t bring myself to delete my subscription!  I always get onto Netflix hoping something will catch my eye, and I’ll be able to entertain myself on a rainy day.  One day while browsing, I stumbled upon The Office and thus my social life (and any form of life really) ceased to exist.  I, for some inexplicable reason, decided to watch The Office all over again.  Seasons 1 through 7.  Let me tell you: that show is about as addicting as I imagine crack would be.  I would watch one episode and immediately continue my journey on to the next.  I am now near the end of season 6.  YOU GUYS, it has only taken me about three weeks to watch the other five seasons.  I think an intervention is in order...or not.  I’m really enjoying this show!  

Anyway, the one plot point that is one of my top favorites on the show (apart from the steady rise and decline of Ryan, the Angela/Dwight romance, the Andy/Angela romance, and the reign of the Michael Scott Paper Company) is the evolution of Jim & Pam’s office romance.  I am so hooked to their love story.  It’s so agonizing and painful to watch until it all FINALLY comes together and they are allowed to be together!  Watching their interactions is just heart warming.  They are so freakin’ cute together!  It drives me nuts that it took them almost four seasons to finally be together!  It seems as though on the show, the characters welcome office romances with open arms...well, at least Michael because he’s weirdly obsessed with Jim and desperately wants to be a part of the cool kids’ club (c’mon, guys! let him join the club already!).  The fact that the romantic evolution of Jim and Pam was so fairy tale-esque makes me laugh when I witness or hear about an office romance happening where I work.  Office romances don’t happen very much...well, at all, where I work.  Everyone is either in their late 20s or their early to mid 40s and married with kids.  So, basically anything remotely scandalous strikes my interest.  

There’s this new guy who started working with us about two months ago.  Instead of referring to him by his real name (which...actually...no one really knows.  We keep calling him different variations of his name but not his actual name because no one can ever remember it), I will simply refer to his as “new guy.”  New guy seems nice enough.  Not super friendly or outgoing.  Isn’t really interested in getting to know anyone or anything except for his iPhone.  He is also a smoker.  I mean a smokestack.  He goes on smoke breaks about twenty times a day.  It’s ridiculous and a huge turn off.  No one likes a smoker.  Tsk tsk!  Anyway, one day when we were all making a bee line to the conference room for one of our weekly meetings, I noticed him staring at my female co-worker’s ass.  I shook my head a couple of times to make sure that I wasn’t just imagining this.  He was FULL ON, VERY OBVIOUSLY observing her ass.  It was the most awkward thing I have ever witnessed.  After the meeting ended, I IMed my co-worker and asked her what she thought of the new guy.  She replied with something along the lines of, “UGH I THINK HE’S SO GROSS! AND HE SMELLS LIKE SMOKE! I think he’s a smoker!  He probably has the black lung!”  I don’t want to be Captain Obvious here, but I got the impression that she did not like him or was in any way interested in him.  

The next week was my co-worker's birthday.  My co-worker’s friend sent her flowers (her friend sends her flowers every year for her birthday and Valentine’s Day.  GEE, I wish my friends would send me flowers!), and just like any normal human being she put them on her desk front and center for giving anyone passing by her office a chance to ogle at them jealously.  Later, New Guy was walking by her office when I noticed that he stopped right in the doorway.  He said in a loud, raspy voice, “Oh! You get flowers from your BOYFRIEND?” My co-worker replied, “Oh...umm...no! They’re from my friend...” And then New Guy exclaimed, “Oh! Well that’s good to know!” and walked off with a creepy smile on his face.  About ten seconds after he left I received about a thousand IMs from my co-worker exclaiming to me how creepy New Guy is and that he makes her uncomfortable and that he needs to stop flirting with her!  I had no idea, but she revealed to me that apparently he had been coming by her office a lot with “questions” and would awkwardly stand behind her and lean over her shoulder.  I joked and said that maybe he was trying to sniff her hair...this joke didn’t go over well.  Anyway, she was considering telling our boss about it and filing a complaint against him for  harassment, but she ended up not saying anything because he was just being weird and flirting with her.  Instead she is now avoiding him like the plague, and it seems to be working so far.  There haven’t been any creepy encounters in the past few weeks.  He makes me uncomfortable now, and well...quite frankly he’s not very pleasant to be around what with the emphysemic coughing and the smokey smell oozing from his pores.  Also his slightly yellowing teeth that he proudly bares when he smiles at people in the mornings really gross me out.  It’s creepy.  Sigh.  

I don’t think I’ll ever witness a true Jim and Pam office romance...or ever be involved in one if we keep hiring weirdos and creeps.  I will continue to dream about meeting that someone special in some spectacular way.  But I think it’s safe to say that for now I will rule out meeting anyone at work.  Not likely to happen any time soon.  Another issue that comes to mind is whether or not office romances are something with which one should be involved.  I wonder what it would be like to work with someone you love, and then also see them outside of work.  I don’t really understand how some married couples live together and work in the same place together.  Seems like there should be a little bit of space there.  But, I might be totally wrong!  What do you guys think?  Are office romances something that you would consider doing or are currently doing?  Also, have any amazing, creepy, or hilarious stories regarding office romances where you work?!  Please share!