Maintaining Your Sanity

I have often wondered where I would be without my girlfriends. The recurring image: crazy and in a bedazzled straightjacket (I am fashionable regardless of my mental state).

In all sincerity, friends have helped me through a lot of rough patches. Without their support I would be in a straightjacket.

My point being, you need girlfriends. You need those women in your life to turn to in difficult times, to gab about the new smoothie place that opened or those cute Chelsea boots that are so in for fall, or simply to vent about your significant other (or the significant other that you would like to have).

One thing I never understood is how women can go through their lives without having a close girlfriend(s). Who are you going to complain to about the stupid thing your boyfriend did or your husband’s irritating habits? While open communication is a definite must in any relationship, I doubt your significant other would appreciate hearing you voice your complaints every time he did something that irritated you.

And during dating you absolutely, positively NEED those girlfriends.

Dating is not always the most thrilling adventure – as I am sure anybody who is currently dating will tell you. You run into all sorts of interesting characters – most of them not that great – and you are left attempting to sort through your disappointment and frustration, clingy to those last shreds of hope that there is a guy out there somewhere. I probably would have taken to my bed in an extreme state of depression, or gained an obscene amount of weight from all the pity eating that certainly would have taken place, if not for my friends during my long dry spell of relationships with men.

And at some point we reach the inevitable: what feels like rock bottom. Yes, ladies, you know what I’m talking about. Those nights where you’re feeling sorry for yourself. You might make a special trip to Target, pick up some candy (chocolate always works, but there is something delightfully cliché about eating out of a pint of ice cream), some nail polish (pampering is a must and bright colors tend to lift your spirits) and maybe a special movie just for the occasion (the occasion of self pity, yes). So after you’ve changed into baggy sweatpants (the better able to consume more food), thrown on a loose t-shirt, exchanged your contacts for your glasses, you settle on the couch and turn on your movie. You are in for the long haul.

Now, while this is a solo activity, if you are anything like me you have already texted your friends, keeping them posted on your status. “I’m at Target now. I think I’m going to buy “Mango Bango” by Essie. Now for candy. Dove? Ghirardelli? Hershey? Or should I do ice cream? I don’t need a new movie…but I’m not in the mood for any of the ones I own, etc.”

Your girlfriends might not physically be seated next to you, but they are certainly a part of the process and their commentary often helps to lighten your mood…and keeps your from eating that whole bag of Dove chocolate (yes, we went with Dove).

They’ll listen to you bemoan your single state or while you lay out your insecurities and doubts, then offer advice and maybe send you links to funny comedy skits…anything to drag you out of your current overanalyzing state and back into the present. This is crucial because when you get discouraged with dating it is so easy to sink into a highly contemplative state and wallow in it. As this is not necessarily healthy behavior, your friends’ ability to reach you is incredibly beneficial.

So thank you to all of my girlfriends!

Do you have any stories to share on how your girlfriends have kept you sane?