The Great Approach

When out in social situations, it is generally assumed that men should approach women. This is great for us women (bartender, another drink please!), but not so much for the guys. Guys face rejection, a daunting prospect and not one that anyone willingly faces, or the loss of some money as they buy us a drink. What are the benefits? Oh right, spending time in our company of course!

In all seriousness, the idea of approaching a man – of being that obvious about my interest – is…not terrifying exactly, but certainly not something I like to contemplate. Ok, so maybe it is slightly terrifying. It is easy to gripe about the hottie in the corner who needs to get it together and come over to you, but when the shoe is on the other foot and you might have to make the first move, it is a whole new ball game.

Case in point, my reaction when friends insist that I initiate an interaction with a guy: I freeze. My mind goes blank and my body refuses to move. Fight or flight is kicking in and my instincts are running with flight. When my mind begins to function – at an embarrassingly slow speed – the excuses begin. I am spewing a whole lot of nonsense in a very short amount of time. “What? Are you serious? No, I can’t. He’s probably with somebody…she might not be here, but if I go over there and then she shows up, or he mentions her, I’ll feel like an idiot. I’m not ready for it. His friends will be watching…I won’t be able to be myself. I can’t do it. No. No! I won’t. Another time, I promise.” From the disbelieving and exasperated looks upon my friends’ faces (another time their foot – oh, they know me well), I know they are not buying it. Crap! Think fast Bri. Ok, it doesn’t even have to be fast, just think! “Uhhh…” At this point they are giving me all the reasons why I should go, effectively cutting through my excuses. I give up. I officially look like an idiot. But at least it is in front of my friends and not the hot guy! Point in my favor! (…not really)

Now I would be happy to offer you a specific example (on such and such a night, with so and so, such and such a thing happened) but really, there is no point in that considering this is the typical pattern. The only changes are time and location. That is why I have made it my goal to approach a guy I am interested in – an obvious point perhaps, but one that I clarify for my friends – in the next two months. This time, since it is my choice and not being sprung upon me, I will follow through. I will!

So when I work up the courage to say hello to Mr. Charming, you will all be the first to know.

That being said, what are your thoughts on approaching a guy? Is it something you are comfortable with or even practice on a regular basis?