Can I Buy You a Drink?

I’ve often wondered what is the best way to handle the following situation:

You’re sitting at the bar, chatting with your girlfriend(s), just enjoying a night out, when you spot (or in my case, my roommate spots) a couple guys (older or younger, it doesn’t really matter) that are clearly interested. They saunter over and so begins the oh so enjoyable exchange.

Here’s the catch: you’re not interested. While they seem to be nice, blah blah blah, you’re not feeling it for one reason or another.

So they approach and chances are they’ll offer to buy you a drink. Do you take him up on it? Or do you kindly reject the offer? Again, you’re not interested, but it’s not as if anything needs to come from it. It’s simply friendly conversation until you finish the drink.

I’ve done both: humored them and sent them packing. Now my roommate is of the belief that you’re having fun and it doesn’t have to be serious, so go for it! So when I’m out with her, I go for it. However, my typical reaction is to pretend not to notice them (Oh my gosh Adrie, this conversation about the best salsa to buy at Whole Foods is SO exciting!), not very well done of me, I admit, and which in all honesty makes me look like an idiot.

So here’s my quandary. Say you do decide to take them up on their offer, knowing it’s not going anywhere, knowing that you’re not interested, etc. Does this mean you’re taking advantage of them (as in their wallet) or can you simply enjoy yourself while chatting up a new person without having any stigma attached? It’s not as if every guy that buys you a drink is suddenly entitled to your digits or favors of any kind. 

That being said, I tend to feel guilty – which results in me acting less like myself – when I know that I’m not giving them my number and that enjoying my charming company is all they can expect. This guilt is what led to my gently dismissing them (I say gently, but who am I kidding. It was probably really awkward and uncomfortable and I’ve effectively blocked the actual scenario from memory).

Anyways, girls: What’s your take on the situation? Can a girl accept a drink from a guy she’s not interested in without being considered insincere and, for lack of a better phrase, using the guy?

And guys: Would you rather receive a subtle set down (“I’m sorry, but my friend is visiting and I’d like to spend some time with her...”) or enjoy a drink with us, no strings attached?