Now don’t laugh at me (okay, you’re allowed to), but after an amusing discussion with my friends, I started reading Steve Harvey’s “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.” Maybe it is because I am in a spot in my life where I am more open to concepts I otherwise wouldn’t be, or maybe it was Steve Harvey’s approach – perhaps a combination of the two – but I found myself getting it. Accepting for the first time that men really are simple creatures, that women are more mercurial; complex. But more than that, probably more than anything else in the entire book that stuck out to me, was as follows: that a man will not, and cannot, make you a priority unless he 1. knows who he is 2. has the job he wants and 3. makes the amount of money he wants. You will not even factor into the equation until the above has been achieved, or he is definitely (and knows he is) on his way to achieving what he wants.
And the great thing about the above information, Steve Harvey says it on the first page of the first chapter (strategically planned, in my opinion, and one that paid off)! Once that thought took shape, sunk in and decided to stay there, the rest of the book was viewed in a new, more favorable light. Certainly there are things mentioned that no woman wants to hear, but I think it is easier to move past it and/or accept it because we just want answers; preferably good ones, but any answer will do.
Now, I believe that the last time I wrote I mentioned I had
been dating this guy for a while. Long story short, I was ready to commit and
he wasn’t, but I was not ready to move on. However, I had since reached the point, prior to reading
this book, where I wanted more and was no longer willing to settle. The guy is
a great guy - honestly, I’m not trying to pull one over on anyone - he just has
some growing up to do. After I read the book, however, things fell more into
perspective. He is not doing what he loves, or sees himself doing long-term; he
is not making the kind of money he wants; and because he does not have the two
things listed above, he is struggling to know who he is. I am not saying that
he is floating around in a miserable heap cursing the fates because he is
having an identity crisis. In a lot of ways he is settled; however, without the
job and money it is an incomplete picture (if what Steve Harvey is saying is
true). And I don’t fit into that picture. It sucks, and I am disappointed, but
it is life and I am moving on.
I am not saying that I am all the sudden wise in the way of
men. Far from it! But at least now I feel as if I have a slightly better
understanding and can approach my next relationship, or whatever you want to
call it, in a more enlightened fashion. So bottom line ladies, go get yourself a copy stat! At the very
least it will provide you with amusing examples of male/female interaction and
provide a great backdrop for interesting conversations with your girl friends!
